The worst is when you look at something that happened in a certain year and you don't think it was that long ago, but then you realize it was. Example: I recently watched sports footage from 1998- that I remember watching live at the time- and it looked grainy and faded. Like I was watching Babe Ruth in 1926. Some of the players interviewed in present time looked like my dad. Has anyone seen Mark McGuire lately?
Old. And he isn't the only one. William Shatner is 80. 80! Unbelievable. At least J-Lo still looks good. There is still a little bit of hope for society.It isn't just celebrities, either. Businesses that I still consider new are celebrating 10 year anniversaries. My 2007 model year car has almost 80,000 miles on it. I graduated college five years ago. Five. What have I done with the last decade? Where did it go? I have no idea.
I have always kind of accepted this, embraced the salt and pepper hair and told myself I was distinguished and experienced. An urban George Clooney without the talent, success or hoards of fawning women. But this week I'm feeling a little bit more demoralized.
The restaurant reopened last week and up until yesterday I had worked six straight days. Most nights were late ones, ending around 2 a.m., and at times I have had to turn up the tempo and move fairly quickly while covering a large area. All of this is good. I like working, work equals money. I like when I have to work hard, it makes the time go by faster and it gives me more of a purpose, but my old-ass body is beginning to fail me.
After about two days my neck knotted up in to the size of a volley ball, I pulled a muscle in my calf, my legs are all stiff and I have shooting pains in my lower back. I can barely turn my neck. To make all of this worse, I have been extremely, extremely tired. I can remember my dad coming home from work, sitting down and just dozing off. Taking five minutes out of whatever he was doing and just falling asleep. I used to think he was borderline narcoleptic, now I realize he was just a tired, over worked old man. And so am I.
Yesterday morning I got up with Av after six straight days of working. I had gone to bed at 2 a.m. and she got up at 6:30. Five years ago I would have been resilient. Tired, but my body would have willed me through the morning with a little bit of Red Bull and adrenaline. Yesterday I could barely keep my eyes open. I dozed off on the couch all morning while Av watched Sesame Street. I could barely muster up the energy to empty the cat box or do the dishes. I tried everything. Red Bull, fruit, sticking my head out the window to get fresh air- nothing worked. I am just a tired old man. Even after we left the house I was limping through art class, being grouchy, driving slow because I was tired and my neck hurt. I almost fell asleep pushing the cart at Target.
Old people are up with the sun, napping my 10 a.m. and asleep by 8 p.m. at the latest. That sounds so good to me right now I can't even tell you. Maybe it is my stagnant lifestyle that keeps me from having young man energy. I don't 'work out' or 'eat well'. I am happiest with a few beers, maybe some queso dip or a bag of gummy bears and some TV. That probably isn't the healthiest way to go about life, but I get my exercise at work being on my feet and running around for nine hours. I think I am just old. It's over. That's what it comes down to. I am rapidly approaching my expiration date. I hope that I don't find myself single in my 30's. I used to think that if it happened I'd have a decent shot with some chick coming off a failed marriage with low self esteem or something, but now I'm thinking it will be like a 70-year-old back on the market. Just sad and a little gross. I think I have that Robin Williams disease. You know, the one he had in Jack?
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