So once again we as Americans were forced in to recognizing one of the most out dated and absurd practices in our culture over the weekend, that being, of course, Daylight Savings Time. The argument for 'springing forward' claims moving an hour ahead (supposedly) provides an extra hour of sunlight at the cost of an extra hour of sleep. For those of you without children, this is a mere bump in the road in your leisurely existence. Anyone out there with children, especially under the age of 5, realize that it doesn't matter what the hell you do to the clocks, they will find a way to rob you of sleep and destroy any sort of routine that you may be working on.
Daylight Savings Time has always been one of my least favorite times of year. There is the absurdity of having to change your clocks at 2 a.m. on a Sunday, and the hassle of going around and adjusting all of your time pieces accordingly. Sure, our cell phones and cable boxes do it for us, but if you are anything like me you still spend 20 min punching buttons on your dashboard trying to figure out why the 'clock' button in your car changes the clock to military time instead of just letting you adjust the hours and minutes.
While we're at it, military time is another racket. Who still uses military time? Sure, there is the military, and then there are cops and astronauts. That's it. Why does it need to be a setting on my cell phone, car or watch? It doesn't. Get rid of it.
Daylight Savings Time, like military time, is in no way necessary in our modern culture. First off, don't give me that crap about 'gaining an hour of daylight.' That's bull. The only people gaining an hour are the people who wake up after the sun comes up. For everyone else, the sun just comes up an hour later and stays out an hour later. Perhaps the dumbest argument for this tradition is that it somehow helps farmers because the sun stays out later. I'm not buying that either. It isn't the 30's anymore, and I find it extremely hard to believe that an occupation that traditionally bases its timekeeping on roosters and where the sun lay in the sky is reliant on the government deciding to adjust the clock by an hour in either direction.
This spring the time change especially caught me by surprise, even though I had been reminded multiple times that it was coming. Saturday night, with Monica and the baby staying with her mother for the weekend, I left work and enjoyed a few adult beverages with friends and returned home about 1 a.m. for some late night snacking and TV. I did just that, played a video game or two and decided it was time for bed. I looked up to turn off the cable box to realize that it was 3:45 a.m. 3:45! I haven't voluntarily been up at 3:45 a.m. in at least a year and a half. Damn you Daylight Savings Time.
As much as Daylight Savings drove me nuts before, it has pretty much disturbed our entire existence since Av has been born. Having kids and, more importantly, keeping control of kids is completely reliant on keeping them on some sort of schedule. Not even just sleeping. Eating, pooping, playing, everything has its time and if one thing gets messed up it has a direct effect on the others.
One would think that changing the clocks would mean little to a baby, as she can just go to bed and wake up an hour earlier or later, but it isn't even close to being that simple. The first time we really dealt with this adversity was in the fall, when we moved the clocks back an hour. It literally took us two weeks before the sleep/ eat/ poop schedule was back to normal, so we decided that we would be ready for it this time.
Monica managed to keep the baby up an extra hour Saturday night in preparation for the time change, and things seemed about normal Sunday night in to Monday morning. Unfortunately, once she was awake Monday it became apparent that her internal clock was all messed up again. I don't really have any sort of explanation as to why this happens. It really should make little to no difference to a kid who has no concept of time, but for some reason she just can't seem to adjust.
We woke up at 7 a.m., which would have been 6 a.m. and right from the start she was grumpy, bratty and miserable. We tried a nap around 9:30, about a half hour before her normal nap time (since she was so grouchy) but with no luck. For some reason the time change had left her tired and miserable, which means I was also tired and miserable, and we weren't getting along. One of the things the baby likes to do when she is tired is bully me. She becomes incredibly mean and fresh, clawing at my face, yelling at me and demanding things even after I have said 'no' multiple times. Yesterday we were waiting in line at the bank and she tried to grab my wallet out of my hands while I was fishing for my debit card. I said 'no' and pulled it away from her, at which point she grabbed the approximately $250 in cash that I had and threw it on the ground. Just like a bully. I can already hear the phone call from her principal.
"Mr. Baer, we need to talk. It seems Avelyn punched a boy in the face and stole his lunch money today,"
Just like her mom.
Part of the issue is also that the doctor insisted that it is time for us to stop giving her formula and start replacing it with milk, something that has waged a war on her digestive system. Although she has been eating cheese and yogurt for some time, the abundance of milk being added to her diet just did not agree with her. After a week of constipation and little pebble-sized poop, she has spent the last three days ravaging her diaper with a sort of peanut butter/ butter scotch liquid poop- and a lot of it. Sorry if that ruined anyone's breakfast, but if I have to smell it you have to read about it. My nose experienced so much trauma yesterday I was spending time trying to find a poop smell that didn't exist long after she went to bed, only to realize that it was simply trapped in my nose. Gross.
So maybe it isn't just the change in the clocks that is screwing her all up, but that doesn't change the fact that continuing this practice is unnecessary and cruel to the human body at any age. When I run for president the abolition of Daylight Savings Time will be one of my primary platform items. As will a scientific study in to whether or not I used the word 'abolition' properly above.
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