Monday, November 16, 2009

Episode 28: New stuff.



You know how almost every time you see a band play live there is always that time when the singer walks up to the microphone and says 'Now we're gonna play some new stuff!' and then everybody cheers? I hate that. Drives me nuts. First, hearing the new song is useless to me. I have never heard it before so I can't be excited about it, and I sure as hell can't decide if I like it when it is being blasted out of amps that are turned up to 11 and I have no idea what the singer is actually saying. Second, if by chance I do like it, there is no way I am going to remember that song even 10 minutes later, let alone the next day or when the new album comes out in three weeks. Just wait until the album comes out, guys. We're already at your show, we already like you, we will all probably buy it anyway.

With that preface, I am gonna break my own rule in a way and 'hit you with some new stuff' today, as my kid has developed quite a bit in the last few weeks, and it is pretty humorous.

Aside from being able to eat real foods, like noodles, bananas, olives and cheerios, she is also able to stand up on her own. albeit for a few seconds at a time. This makes for some entertaining moments, and a few dangerous incidents (she nearly knocked herself out with a three hole punch the other day), and means that she is always about to discover something she has never seen before. Among her favorite new things are, plastic bottles, plastic kitchen utensils, anything in the refrigerator and pens.

Honestly, I know it seems like a cliche' parental thing to say, but there really is something new that she does ever day. The picture above shows her with her new 'pet'- one of those $10 remote control puppies they sell at Walgreens. This would be a pretty crappy toy if she were any older, but for all intents and purposes it seems to be a success.

She is pretty funny with it, even though she knows it isn't a real dog. Instead of actually playing with the dog, she spends most of her time trying to use the bone-shaped remote control that comes with it. She even tries to press the buttons, but her little fingers aren't quite strong enough yet.

She has been around dogs and cats most of her life, but I had the pleasure of witnessing what I believe to be the first time that she has ever noticed a bird. Sure, we go see the ducks at the park a few times a week but, for the most part, ducks stay in the water and if they fly, it is usually like 6 inches off of the ground. Yesterday she discovered the magic of high, soaring sea gulls, and it was absolutely hysterical.

With the weather uncharacteristically beautiful for November yesterday we took a walk around the neighborhood and eventually ended up on a bench next to the Palmer Cove Yacht Club. We sat and watched the boats and socialized with the neighbors (Spanish women, for some reason, are magnetically drawn to Av. Everywhere we go if there is a Spanish woman there, she will come talk to us. And there are a lot of Spanish women in Palmer Cove).

In any event, as we were sitting on the bench some woman came along and decided to feed the seagulls some stale hamburger rolls. Naturally, we were swarmed by birds and this kid could not have been happier. She must have laughed for 10 minutes straight, but the real moment of the day was when she noticed them flying above her head. Her face went from laughter to awe instantly as they soared above her. She tried desperately to follow them with her eyes without tumbling over, but could never quite get that balance down. Yes, the miracle of flight finally realized by an infant. Nice.

Being an Old person- revisited

As I have mentioned in  previous posts, Av and I lead the same lives as old people, further evidenced by out afternoon sitting on a bench looking at birds yesterday. Today, again, this was reinforced for us when I had a moment in the Walmart parking lot.

Now, shopping at Walmart at 9 a.m. is definitely an old person thing to do, and I am OK with that. We walk around slowly and wait forever at the check out and dodge clueless drivers in the parking lot, but I guess that is to be expected. We don't have anywhere to go anyway. But today was extra disturbing for me because  realized as I looked through the parking lot that the car I used to feel cool for driving is actually an old person ride. Damn it.

When we had the baby I was forced to trade in my 2-door Saturn for something more practical, so I went to the dealer and ended up with a good old American made Chevy Impala.

Now, my Impala doesn't exactly look like this.




Or this.




 or this.




In fact, it looks exactly like this.




But I still feel kind of cool when I drive it because it has a big engine and it's fast. Unfortunately, today killed any cool feelings I had about my car. Walking around Walmart was a disaster, as the elderly were everywhere, more so than usual, and were doing extra-old things, like arguing about prices with the cashiers  (it is my fault, really, I now go to the Walmart on 114 in Danvers, which is right next to an elderly and assisted living complex). When I walked out of the store I looked around and noticed that there were Chevy Impalas like mine every where. Red ones, blue ones, white, gray, and every old person's favorite- gold.

Demoralized, I packed up the baby int he car, put on my left hand turn signal and drove 15 mph all the way home.

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