Another week has come and gone and I have already lost track of how long I have been doing this baby watching thing. Probably not as long as it feels like I have. In fact, I think this is the first five-day week I've had to endure, with the Monday holiday and short school work weeks for Mom. Overall it has been a good experience, but two things definitely stand out to me.
1. The days are incredibly long
2. Nothing happens. Ever. It is the same thing. Every day.
There are some days that are so boring that when she is taking a nap and I feel like I should be writing, I realize there is literally nothing different than the day before, except for the contestants on the Price is Right. Hence the spotty blog entries.
One thing I have taken to doing is assigning roles and personalities to all of her human and animal-based toys. For example, car seat rides are always supervised by Sheriff Duck, to make sure nothing goes wrong, and she is always accompanied by one of her body guards, bath toy whale, bath toy dragon or bath toy shark/ marlin (it is tough to say which one it actually is, I have also heard votes for dolphin, but it is definitely not a dolphin).
Out of her group of stuffed and plastic animal friends, a heated love triangle has surfaced between her first boyfriend, Grover, the teddy bear she is cheating on him with and her new flame, a multi-colored bird with a 3-inch green neck named Professor Richard H. Neck (or, Dick Neck, as we call him behind his back).
Grover came on the scene early on as one of her first toys, and he has been getting the face-suck (a baby's form of affection?) on the regular for a fairly long time. It wasn't until the teddy bear (who is nameless) came on the scene with his fleecy soft face and his cold plastic nose that things with Grover started to cool off. I noticed more passionate face sucking and a lot more cuddling, probably because he is so much softer than Grover.
Grover would still come around, but the bear started sticking around during relaxing with video time, which used to be exclusively for Grover.
Dick Neck has been around probably longer than the other two, but was relegated to bedroom shelf status until a few weeks ago when, in a moment of passion and weakness, their eyes connected and Av demanded I carry her over to the shelf to see this beautiful specimen of a bird. Since that time, Mr. Neck has been around pretty much all of the time. Not to mention, he gets a little bit more tail than the other two. Rather than just a kiss and cuddle, she will put the bird's entire head in her mouth... Weird.
It appears that she is able to balance her men pretty easily, which is good. She should get it all out of her system now, because when she goes to school there will be no boys. She will either be a lesbian or a nun. Those are the only two choices.
So, I guess after this week I have learned something. My daughter has a thing for birds, and I am completely losing my fucking mind. At this rate, I will be in a straight jacket by Christmas.
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