Episode 143:

This is Av in a frog raincoat encountering an inflated Easter Bunny at Acapulco's Mexican Restaurant. Mexican people love Jesus. I'm not sure why. But they do.

Yesterday Av pronounced the word 'restaurant' as 'retihonk.' Which is a very strange interpretation and pronunciation of the word. She also has a very difficult time pronouncing Little Cat's name. She calls her "wedidididi cat." This makes no sense. She can say the word 'little.' "That's the little one." "Big rhino, little rhino" but if you ask her to say "Little Cat" she can't do it.

The language of a 2-year-old can be very difficult to follow at times. She can say things like 'yellow' and 'purple' perfectly. She knows her animals, rhinos, hippos, crocodiles, snakes, giraffes and the like, but she can't quite get elephant right. Elephants are 'akidonks.' She also can't say banana, choosing instead to call them 'beenas.'

I suppose none of this is strange, I just can't get a grasp on why she can say some things and not say other things that are similar/ easier. I am sure some pretentious education or psychology major has some sort of scientific or developmental answer for me, but I don't want to hear any of that. Life is too short to give a shit about science.

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I have been trying to come up with some sore of revenge plan regarding the downstairs neighbors this week. Now that all the snow is gone all of the disgusting crap that their stupid dog left all over the sidewalk is visible again. Just walking out the door to the car is like a minefield. They are so lazy. So, so lazy. I need to get them back. It is absurd at this point. I need to get them back and I need to do it with poop. No exceptions.

I have two cats and a baby. Chances are there is pretty much poop somewhere all the time in my house. Controlled poop, of course. Not just left on the sidewalk for me to step in and mash in to the car floor mats. So I am thinking to setting them up. Maybe putting poop in their mail box. Or smearing it on the handles of their car doors. Mailbox would be sneaker.

Unrelated story. I once had a disputed medical bill I had to pay Beverly Hospital. I lost the dispute so I placed the envelope in the cat box for a few hours, just until it got a cat skid mark on it. Then I mailed it to them. Enjoy your cat poop $90. I also use poop as identity theft protection. Whenever I have a large stack of personal info I have to throw out I will layer it in bags of cat poop and baby diapers. Genius.

Anyway, the point is that there needs to be some poop revenge going on soon. Just because you are stoned and lazy all day doesn't mean you shouldn't clean up after your shitty dog. I know it is them, too. It has to be. There is too much of it to just be random dogs walking past the house. That's it. Settled. Next time the baby poops it is going out of the diaper in to a Ziplock bag. Then, I am going to place that Ziplock bag in a manila envelope and mail it to them. It will be worth the postage. Is that illegal? Probably.

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