Episode 132: Child supervision is not optional

Av and I have been spending a lot of time at Monkey Joe's this winter, mostly because there is no real opportunity to go outside and have fun when it is 27 degrees out and windy, which it has pretty much been here every day since December started. At least that is how it feels. Anyway, the indoor inflatable play place has been a blessing for us and Av is starting to put together a little more gumption and vary away from the toddler apparatus on to the big girl jumps. Putting aside the fact that she has little to no coordination and completely lacks the ability to climb a set of plastic, inflated stairs, the new bravery is a pretty good thing. Especially since there was a time that she would break down in tears every time she wandered too closely to another human being.

There is something going on at Monkey Joe's, and I suspect a lot of other places, too, that is disturbing to me. That is the rampant, inappropriate use of Facebook, specifically by parents who should be paying attention to their kids. It is a fact that over 80 percent of Americans, myself included, use Facebook way, way too much. It is a toxic waste of a website that is flooding the minds of Americans with trash, invading our privacy, exposing our flaws and entertaining the crap out of anyone who likes to stalk people they used to make fun of in high school. It ruins relationships, costs people jobs and, on more than one occasion, has brightened my day when someone whose life is exponentially more miserable than mine makes that fact known for all of his friends to see. There is money to be made from Facebook and I will make that money some day, probably by exposing these very same, whiny, pathetic individuals who spill their tragic lives in their status updates on a daily basis. This is not the issue that I am speaking of. The issue that I am speaking of involves caddy moms and their attachment to a social life that no longer exists.

Today at Monkey Joe's the place was very busy. Apparently a lot of people had Friday off this week, I don't know. There were kids everywhere and just as many parents. The nice folks at MJ's as a courtesy provide two free computers for parents to use while their kids arr playing. I like to think that these parents are using the computers to send timely emails or at the very least, casually web surf for celebrity gossip. Apparently, I was giving society too much credit- again. Today i was disturbed to find moms just lazily sitting around, chatting, not paying any attention to their kids or even their basic surroundings. Meanwhile the rambunctious little bastards were running each other over in the aisles and leaping off of apparatus and fighting over balloons.

About 10 minutes in to our stay I heard a child crying and then watched in horror as he ran over to his mom, who was sitting at one of the computers, and was immediately ignored. Annoyed, the mother eventually looked up and meanly asked what was wrong. What was on her screen? Facebook. Not just Facebook, but her Facebook page, complete with slutty profile photo and two, yes two, active chats going. I looked over to the computer next to her and saw the same thing, only this mom's picture was slightly less slutty.

First off, I don't remember the last Facebook chat that I had. Chances are it was unprompted and I was annoyed when I got it. Second, even if I did have all of these friends in the multimedia world, I would have the common decency to wait on the gossip until after my kid left Monkey Joe's. You know, so she didn't have to run over to me crying. And what is with the slutty photos? I know that a lot of people look pretty slutty on Facebook, but you are a mom. With an at least 3-year-old kid. Who are you trying to turn on?

Look, I am all for trying to rediscover your youth or getting back in the dating game if you are a single mom. Go for it. But for Christ sake, go easy on the Facebook. I mean, your kid just took a header off of a giant inflatable monkey and you are annoyed that he interrupted your Facebook chat? Come on, lady.

In which I return to my old life

A year and a half ago when I left my job as a newspaper reporter I vowed never to return to that life of snooping, harassing phone calls and stressing over deadlines. Then somewhere along the way I realized that writing and reporting were pretty much my only skills, so something had to give. About a month ago news came down that the bar I work at would be closing for close to a month, maybe longer, for renovations. Aside from a few shifts at other locations, we would all be headed to the poor house. So, with that in mind and my savings account begging me not to drain it, I reluctantly re-entered the world of reporting.

Yesterday I became potentially the most overqualified person to ever interview for a job, forgetting my previous vows and passing along my experienced resume for a freelance position with AOL Patch, a new online newspaper that exists in several communities throughout Massachusetts, the east coast and other well-populated areas of the country. I will be covering the same community that I did when I first started my full time job at the Item. I will essentially be writing the same stories on a contract basis. Basically, I will be using my kick ass resume to overachieve at a job usually reserved for college graduates. I despise the fact that I just typed that sentence.

Yes, overall I don't care for the stress of reporting, and yes, I am selling my soul to the future working for an Internet only publication. But I am happy to have the position, and so is the editor, who appears relieved that I know what I am doing. At the same time, I am not happy to be thrown back in to the world of reporting. The opportunity is great, the company has room for advancement and I need money. So I'm going to make the best of it. So far on my first day I have called 13 different people for comment on two stories. I have heard back from exactly two. Ahhh, life as a reporter. At least now I don't have to space out in front of a computer screen for six hours a day or deal with the crazy custodian singing Foreigner songs while he empties my trash. I can just play blocks with my kid and work when I need to. We'll see how long until I start to lose it. I hope it is a long time, because I don't think I am going to win the lottery any time soon, and I am probably going to get too old for this bar tending thing before too long.

I am in the process of deciding which head shot I should add to the website. OUCH! Technology is starting to beat the shit out of me already.