See that? What you just read? That is a solid, text book newspaper lede. As well as proof that the programming I received in journalism school and my subsequent half-decade in the industry has permanently damaged my writing style, but I digress. I have been kind of looking forward to this week, mostly because I feel like I have fallen out of favor with the baby since Monica has been home so much. It isn't that she doesn't like me, she still does, but she doesn't really seem to get upset when I come and go like she used to, and that is not good medicine for my already fragile self-esteem.
For as much as I was looking forward to this week, I have also been a little bit nervous about it because I feel like I am out of practice. Thus, I woke up this morning and quickly formulated a plan for the day. Scoot out of the house before Monica gets out of the shower, hit up some errands, feed the ducks and be ready for story time at the library by 10 a.m. So ambitious. And proof that I really am out of practice. Of course, my plan took a wrong turn right from the beginning, considering that she woke up super early this morning. Funny how she magically started sleeping until 8-8:30 as soon as Monica started getting up with her, yet the first day of my return to dad duties she is up at 7 again. It is like she did it on purpose.
Once awake, she refused to eat breakfast and yelled at me until I made her a bottle (yeah, the weening off of the bottle is going real well) and then promptly busted open the bathroom door to find a half-naked mommy brushing her teeth. So much for sneaking out of the house. All in all, the morning actually went quite well from there. Monica and the baby had a little bonding time and we were able to sneak out without any tears. As a result of her waking up early, however, she passed out in the car on the way to story time, so my entire morning schedule is now shot. It's cool, though, I will never complain about a nap. At this point I am just trying to make a conscious effort to actually teach her something today. Monica has set the bar high.
In which T-Mobile becomes the focus of my blind rage
I hate cell phones. I have mentioned this here before. I hate them so much that up until this weekend I was still using a phone that I got in 2005. A phone that is in such bad shape it once caught fire in my pocket. It isn't that I hate having a cell phone, I need one to feel normal, in fact. What I hate about cell phones is how just because we live in this new world of information and file downloading that I now have to pay out the ass for a phone that does all of that and I am shunned if I do not. To make matters worse, once I get the phone I am expected to pony up an extra $30 a month just to use the additional features. I call people, I send text messages. That is it. That is all I want. This seemingly simple desire for a basic phone has been the cause of much stress and anger for me over the past few days, and there is a little, pompous acne-faced blond boy at the T-Mobile store that is going to feel the wrath of my revenge. I am just not quite sure how yet. Here is the background.
On Friday night my 2005 spontaneous combustion phone finally decided that it had enough. The screen was fading in and out more than usual, and after a little bit of surgery to repair the problem I thought I had it solved. Unfortunately, whatever I did made it so the phone no longer received any sort of signal from the tower, even when I was standing outside. Finally ready to give in and buy a new phone, Monica, whose phone also sucks, and I went to the T-Mobile store in Swampscott. Now, I will start out by saying that I already have a bias against kids who work in cell phone stores. They are arrogant, pompous, pushy and misleading. They are the ones that try and stop you when you are walking through the mall. They are the ones that give you attitude if you aren't up on the new technology. Hate, hate, hate. Thus, as you can probably predict, I went in to the T-Mobile store with a bit of a confrontational attitude. I was going to give the kid a chance, but the second her tried to sell me a Blackberry I was going to put him in his place. It didn't take long for the confrontation to begin.
Despite the fact that we were both looking for the same thing, two different kids decided that they needed to help us. The kid helping me did not get off to a good start when he looked up my account and said in an annoyed, condescending way "So, what is wrong with the phone you already have?"
I took the broken fire phone out and showed it to him at which point he informed me that it was not the phone that my account said I had. I told him that the phone on the account was the last in a long line of phones from T-Mobile that have either broken or just flat out not worked. His response? "Well that is because you buy cheap phones." It is at this point that I turned on the kid. Monica said I was a dick. I was. But he deserved it.
"That's because I don't need to Google anything on my phone. I call people and I send text messages. That is it. All I want is a simple phone that isn't going to break."
Acne face then, with attitude, informed me that I still had time left on my contract, and that I wasn't eligible for any sort of upgrade (which doesn't seem at all right, but whatever). So, without any more options, he reluctantly walked me over to the cheapest flip phone that they had and told me I could have it for $50. I was about to just do it when he chimed in with this tidbit.
"You know, they have the same phone at Walmart for $30 and you won't have to extend your contract. You should probably just do that because it isn't worth it buying it here."
Wow. Really? I had no idea that you could buy phones at Walmart without extending your contract. And that cheap, too? This is great. Cool. Now I don't have to deal with this little shit anymore. So, happy that we were going to save some money, the two of us left and agreed to take the kid's advice. Bad move.
I went to Walmart yesterday in search of this magical $30 phone. What I found was a display of Blackberries and LG phones all selling for around $300. In fact, the cheapest phone that they had was $285. Unless, of course, I wanted to extend my contract, then it was only $175. Irritated, I left and went back to the T-Mobile store. Since it was Sunday they were not yet open so I decided to pop in to a nearby Radio Shack to see what they had. That is when I spoke to this nice old assistant manager who pretty much told me the kid was full of shit. He told me that you can't buy a phone at a store like Radio Shack or Walmart without extending the contract and that it works exactly like a cell phone store. In addition, independent retailers don't ever carry those bottom line phones because they can't offer the same sign up deals as the cell phone carriers , so the only way I could get the cheap phone was to buy a pre-paid phone, pay $30 to activate it and stick my sim card in it. Effectively costing me twice the money.
"That's the thing about customer service," he said."You have to be careful with electronics. That kid just lied to you because he doesn't make any money off of those cheap phones anyway. Just being honest."
Ohhhh, it is on now, punk.
Bordering on violent, blind rage, I headed back home to stew for an hour before going back to T-Mobile and possibly putting this kid in a coma. That is when I remembered that I have a perfectly good Motorola laying around that just needs a charger. Back to Radio Shack. So, for about $30 total, I was able to get the new charger for the old phone and go on my way. I figured this way I will never have to renew my contract and I can stop using T-Mobile whenever the damn contract runs out. Nice. But there was still the matter of that acne-faced punk at the store. I sat in my car for about 10 minutes preparing my speech for the kid when it dawned on me that going in there and ripping this kid a new asshole wouldn't accomplish anything. Instead, I was going to rip his boss a new asshole. I walked in the door and got about half way through the store when the kid looked up and saw me.
"Hey, what's up man," he said, cheerfully. He either realized that I was back and probably pissed or he is just a dumbass. I opened my mouth to ask for his manager and let him have it and I immediately lost any strength that I had. "Ahh, fuck it." I said aloud and walked out. That probably got my point across right there, but I am not done. I don't know what I am going to do, but this kid is going down. I will find a way.
On Friday night my 2005 spontaneous combustion phone finally decided that it had enough. The screen was fading in and out more than usual, and after a little bit of surgery to repair the problem I thought I had it solved. Unfortunately, whatever I did made it so the phone no longer received any sort of signal from the tower, even when I was standing outside. Finally ready to give in and buy a new phone, Monica, whose phone also sucks, and I went to the T-Mobile store in Swampscott. Now, I will start out by saying that I already have a bias against kids who work in cell phone stores. They are arrogant, pompous, pushy and misleading. They are the ones that try and stop you when you are walking through the mall. They are the ones that give you attitude if you aren't up on the new technology. Hate, hate, hate. Thus, as you can probably predict, I went in to the T-Mobile store with a bit of a confrontational attitude. I was going to give the kid a chance, but the second her tried to sell me a Blackberry I was going to put him in his place. It didn't take long for the confrontation to begin.
Despite the fact that we were both looking for the same thing, two different kids decided that they needed to help us. The kid helping me did not get off to a good start when he looked up my account and said in an annoyed, condescending way "So, what is wrong with the phone you already have?"
I took the broken fire phone out and showed it to him at which point he informed me that it was not the phone that my account said I had. I told him that the phone on the account was the last in a long line of phones from T-Mobile that have either broken or just flat out not worked. His response? "Well that is because you buy cheap phones." It is at this point that I turned on the kid. Monica said I was a dick. I was. But he deserved it.
"That's because I don't need to Google anything on my phone. I call people and I send text messages. That is it. All I want is a simple phone that isn't going to break."
Acne face then, with attitude, informed me that I still had time left on my contract, and that I wasn't eligible for any sort of upgrade (which doesn't seem at all right, but whatever). So, without any more options, he reluctantly walked me over to the cheapest flip phone that they had and told me I could have it for $50. I was about to just do it when he chimed in with this tidbit.
"You know, they have the same phone at Walmart for $30 and you won't have to extend your contract. You should probably just do that because it isn't worth it buying it here."
Wow. Really? I had no idea that you could buy phones at Walmart without extending your contract. And that cheap, too? This is great. Cool. Now I don't have to deal with this little shit anymore. So, happy that we were going to save some money, the two of us left and agreed to take the kid's advice. Bad move.
I went to Walmart yesterday in search of this magical $30 phone. What I found was a display of Blackberries and LG phones all selling for around $300. In fact, the cheapest phone that they had was $285. Unless, of course, I wanted to extend my contract, then it was only $175. Irritated, I left and went back to the T-Mobile store. Since it was Sunday they were not yet open so I decided to pop in to a nearby Radio Shack to see what they had. That is when I spoke to this nice old assistant manager who pretty much told me the kid was full of shit. He told me that you can't buy a phone at a store like Radio Shack or Walmart without extending the contract and that it works exactly like a cell phone store. In addition, independent retailers don't ever carry those bottom line phones because they can't offer the same sign up deals as the cell phone carriers , so the only way I could get the cheap phone was to buy a pre-paid phone, pay $30 to activate it and stick my sim card in it. Effectively costing me twice the money.
"That's the thing about customer service," he said."You have to be careful with electronics. That kid just lied to you because he doesn't make any money off of those cheap phones anyway. Just being honest."
Ohhhh, it is on now, punk.
Bordering on violent, blind rage, I headed back home to stew for an hour before going back to T-Mobile and possibly putting this kid in a coma. That is when I remembered that I have a perfectly good Motorola laying around that just needs a charger. Back to Radio Shack. So, for about $30 total, I was able to get the new charger for the old phone and go on my way. I figured this way I will never have to renew my contract and I can stop using T-Mobile whenever the damn contract runs out. Nice. But there was still the matter of that acne-faced punk at the store. I sat in my car for about 10 minutes preparing my speech for the kid when it dawned on me that going in there and ripping this kid a new asshole wouldn't accomplish anything. Instead, I was going to rip his boss a new asshole. I walked in the door and got about half way through the store when the kid looked up and saw me.
"Hey, what's up man," he said, cheerfully. He either realized that I was back and probably pissed or he is just a dumbass. I opened my mouth to ask for his manager and let him have it and I immediately lost any strength that I had. "Ahh, fuck it." I said aloud and walked out. That probably got my point across right there, but I am not done. I don't know what I am going to do, but this kid is going down. I will find a way.
Music.
So, I have a love-hate relationship with this band, Built to Spill. Meaning that I love about 12 songs and hate pretty much all of the rest of them. But those 12 songs are kick ass. This is my favorite of the bunch, live.
No comments:
Post a Comment