Despite the title, this blog has always been about more than parenting anyway, so it will continue to be about everything, and it will continue to be at this address. Enjoy.
Now, a brief synopsis of what you have missed. The holidays have come and gone and my house is now filled with trains. The big ticket gift this year was a train table and Av still can't believe it. I would say she spends 4-5 hours a day playing with it. I managed to get off cheap by purchasing many of the Thomas the Tank Engine characters off of EBay, a move that worked out fairly well aside from the one clearly counterfeit batch that I got from China. I thought about sending them back, but she is a toddler. She will never notice the smeared paint or the slightly askew parts. All I have to say is that Thomas the Tank Engine must be friggin loaded at this point, because these little wooden trains are damn expensive and they keep developing new characters and new movies so you have to keep buying more. I picture that little blue train on MTV cribs, showing off his pimp new shed, draping gold chains over his funnel, dancing around little hoe trains with big booties while he sips champagne. The point is that it is quite the gold mine. An entertaining gold mine, though, I will say the character development in that series is impeccable. My repertoire of voice characters has vastly expanded.
The best part of Christmas was that it was really the first year that Av had an idea of what was going on. She had a great time and she got lots of exciting presents. Watching her joy made the season much more tolerable than usual, something I will enjoy for the next three or four years until she becomes one of those asshole kids who want iPods and cell phones and computers for Christmas. None of which she will probably ever get and she will proceed to resent me in to adulthood, just like you and I did with our parents. Ahhh tradition.
As for myself, nothing has changed. I am still a bartender, still treated like a 16-year-old at my job and still spend most of the daylight hours feeling useless and unproductive. I stopped freelancing for the time being because I despise the new editor at the website I was working for and essentially started blowing him off. I do not feel bad about this. I will not be treated like an underling for $40 a story, thank you very much. Eventually, I will have to get back in to it somewhere, or perhaps I can find a new career. So far that isn't quite working out. I like to take naps.
I did join a gym for the first time in 4 years. That's a great time. All of the smells and noises and sights are the same. I still forget to charge my iPod every time I so I have to listen to the shitty stock pop music they play at a barely audible level, I still get tired really fast and want to go home after 10 minutes and I still feel weird, awkward and out of place lifting weights. But, I have to go. My father had a heart attack this year and since getting out of the hospital he has done nothing but remind me of all the hereditary health problems in my family and insist that I get all sorts of tests at the doctor. Actual quote "Between the cancer on your mom's side and the heart problems on mine, you're pretty much fucked." Awesome. Thanks, Dad. In the past two months I have been convinced that I have everything from esophageal cancer to ALS. I'm probably fine, but I figured I should probably get my fat ass to the gym anyway, at least to prevent Monica from leaving me for someone in their 20's when she hits her sexual prime in a few years. Yes, these are things that I think about. Yes, I am probably insane.
One of the many awesome things about my gym is that it just opened, so all sorts of people I know are joining, too. Nothing increases your embarrassment and insecurity at the gym like seeing one of the cooks from work, or some lady you know from Target and so on. Oh, and apparently old men still think its cool to just show off their balls in the locker room. How is this still ok?
As the year goes on I have a few modest goals. First, I want to lose some weight and look good enough to actually want to go to the beach this summer. Two, I want to win my bowling league. We are alone in third place and digging ourselves a hole, but I think we have a shot. We should probably drink less. Third, I would like to have some sort of plan regarding my professional future. I can't be a bartender forever, and I have decided this will be the last apartment I will ever rent. My landlord is a dick, and I am sick of having to share a driveway. Finally, I want to restore this blog to something I do consistently and that people actually read. That is all. Shouldn't be too much to ask. Most- all of this, actually- depends on my own laziness and motivation. If I can achieve three of these four the chances of me waking up in the morning and not hating everything about myself on a daily basis will probably be above-average. Again, not making any promises.
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2011 was a shitty year for music. I couldn't name you the majority of the pop stars on the planet and there hasn't been a new band or musical group that I enjoy in a long, long time. The Black Keys have a new album that I hated, loved, hated again and now feel largely indifferent about minus a few songs. I'm more angry that I have to pay $75 for shitty seats just to see them live now, which I refuse to do. Other musical decisions I have made this year include not hating Lady Gaga anymore (She could just be so much worse compared to all of the other crap out there) and I have officially lost any and all remaining respect I had for Weezer. Which wasn't much to begin with.
Here's hoping Queens of the Stone Age follow Tool's lead in 2012 and get off their asses and back on tour. I might actually pay $75 to see this.
Here's hoping Queens of the Stone Age follow Tool's lead in 2012 and get off their asses and back on tour. I might actually pay $75 to see this.
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