Episode 43- Poop follies

As the title of this post would suggest, today's topic is kind of disgusting, so if you are feeling squeamish or perhaps a little bit hungover (oh c'mon, like none of you have ever accidentally gotten drunk on a Monday night and had to suffer through work the next day) you may want to sit this one out.

With two cats and a baby living in the same house, it is safe to say that I wake up to poop of some kind every single day of the week. After months of watching Av, this is still the one thing that I have not been able to get used to or accept. There really isn't much worse than pulling your tired ass out of be at 6:45 a.m. and immediately dealing with a poop situation. Even if the baby didn't drop a load in her diaper the night before, I still have a nights worth of clumped up cat poop to scoop, which despite its convenience and isolation in the litter box is still poop.

I guess I'd still take that over a dog though. While I am scooping poop my idiot neighbor is up walking his dog in the freezing cold, scraping up its fresh, steaming poop from the sidewalk and carrying it in a bag next to him. Sucker. I bet that thing still poops on his floor, too- no matter how many times he walks it.

In any event, for the first few months the poop thing went fairly well. It was gross and sometimes first thing in the morning, but for the most part we had a routine and a system going. When I realize there is poop I tear off about 15 pieces of paper towel and lay them down. Then I grab a grocery bag, some wipes and a change of clothes and get to work. This worked fairly well to contain the poop and keep me from getting any on my hands or the changing table. Lately, though, Av has decided that staying still while she gets a diaper change is too much to ask.

Now she thinks it is cool to roll around, stand up on her knees, play with stuff etc... This is not cool. This is far from cool and has resulted in several occasions over the past week or so where poop has ended up on me, my clothing, her changing table, the walls, her feet, legs and hands, some toys, the floor and one time inside the laundry basket. You want to talk about testing someone's patience? Smear poop all over them and everything around them and see how they react.

I have no solution for this problem. I have no idea what to do. It is to the point where I just want to cover an entire room in plastic just for diaper changing purposes. I wish she would just tell me when she was going to go so I could hold her over the toilet. I think I will head to the Family Dollar and get some gloves today. Maybe if I am not worried about getting poop on my hands I will be more willing to manhandle her in an effort to keep her still.

Sorry for grossing you all out today. At least now you can all go back to work or whatever you are doing and be happy that there is no shit on your shoes. Good day.