Trial by Fire Parenting: Episode 159: She's asleep, quick it's my alotted internet time!

You know it has been a long time since you have written a blog when you sign on to the website and it forces a bunch of software updates on to your computer. Sorry. In the words of Peter Gibbons in Office Space, It's a problem of motivation.

Well, it isn't just a problem of motivation, it is also a problem of living an entire day with an almost-3-year old who has already developed the attitude of a 16-year-old. She rarely allows me time to myself, usually just to take a shower if I put on a really interesting show for her. Otherwise, she is right there. Grabbing on to the back pockets of my jeans while I clean the kitchen, turning the light on and off while I go to the bathroom, stealing food off of my plate even though she rejected what I was making for myself and forced me to make her something completely different for lunch. All of this, coupled with the fact that 85 percent of the time I am on my computer she will walk over and slam it shut, make for a difficult time when trying to craft a well-written account of the recent events of our lives. Come to think of it, this sounds more like spending your day with an old, grouchy hermit than a 16-year-old. Still equally as challenging.

Another issue I have come across is that of our beloved, cherished, much anticipated afternoon nap has all but disappeared. It was bordering on extinction to begin with, but up until last week I at least had the luxury of putting her in her crib and fooling myself in to thinking she would fall asleep. In reality, she just would play for an hour and then scream until I came and got her. Still, that was an hour of relative sanity. All of this came to a crashing (literally) end about two weeks ago when she decided that she was going to attempt the inevitable and try to climb out of her crib. She escaped the incident unharmed, aside from a bit of soreness and a lot of tears, which is a shock considering the completely idiotic method she apparently used to do the deed. According to her own reenactment of the events, rather than put her leg up and climb over, or stand on the rails and try to climb down the other side, she leaned over the railing face first on her stomach and swan dove on to the floor. Idiot.

All of this means that she now has a toddler bed that she can get out of whenever she dam well pleases. And trust me, she pleases. The only reason that I have even been allowed to try and write today is because she fell asleep in the car on the way home from the store. Because she woke up at 5:30 in the morning. Because she is a psychopath. I was able to type the bulk of this on the porch while she slept in the car in the driveway, but about halfway through she woke up and I had to convince her to start painting on her easel so that I could finish up. The clock is ticking. She is already snooping around asking what I am doing.

In any event, that is about the entirety of my day. Playing trains, cars, painting, putting together a variety of snacks, and arguing. Lots and lots of arguing. On Sunday we are going to 'take a ride on Thomas.' I can only imagine what that will actually entail, but for $18/ ticket it had better be awesome.